Tough Questions

Several years ago I had a dream. I guess you could call it a nightmare.

You know how in some dreams, you know you’re dreaming, but in others, the dream seems real? Well, this was one of those real ones. In the dream, which I can only remember parts of now, I was going about life as usual, when some sudden calamity hit. I can’t recall if it was a bomb or a car crash, or just what, but I do remember an explosion and lots of flames. And I remember thinking quite logically, “There’s no way we can survive this. We’re going to die.”

Now keep in mind, I thought the dream was real. Even so, I wasn’t afraid. I knew that as a Christian, the next thing that comes after death is heaven. Soon all the weight of my sins would be lifted, and I would see God face to face. And so I waited for that to happen.

But it didn’t happen.

Nothing happened.

I woke up…horrified.

It wasn’t death that horrified me. It was that terrible realization that all I had been taught, all I had known, all I had confessed to believe… wasn’t true… or was it?

“It was just a dream,” I told myself over and over again. “It was just a dream.”

That was years ago, but I still remember the feeling (if not the dream) vividly, and what it showed me. There’s no way of knowing for sure what happens when you die. It remains one of life’s mysteries.

Not knowing what’s going to happen is sometimes fun, but in this case, it scared me. And I don’t like being scared. So, instead, I told myself to follow Jesus’ advice to Jairus in Luke 8:50. “Don’t be afraid; just believe.”

Fast forward to last Thursday. Jeff and I went to a new Bible Class offered at our church called “The Truth Project.” It’s actually a series of videos which cover such deep philosophical topics as “What is truth?” “Who is God?” “What is evil?” and so on. The host is Dr. Del Tackett. The topic of our first class was truth, and Dr. Tackett ended the class with this tough question:

Do you really believe that what you believe is really real?

I immediately thought about my nightmare, and how badly it upset me.

Do I really believe that what I believe is really real?

I think so, but sometimes, I have doubts.

I left the class wondering…

Do I believe enough?

A few days later I was looking over the handouts from our Bible Class. One sheet had a bunch of discussion questions on it. Numbers 1 -5 looked like things we had talked about in class, but number 6 was that same question popping up again, followed by another equally tough question:

6) Dr. Tackett asked the question, “Do you really believe that what you believe is really real?” How can we know we really believe?

I showed the handout to Jeff. “Read number 6,” I said to him.

Jeff read it. “Yes,” he said.

“What do you mean, ‘Yes?’” I asked him.

“Yes, I believe what I believe is really real,” he answered.

“What about the second part?” I asked him.

Jeff looked back down at the sheet, then back at me. “I say I believe, and I do, so it’s true.”

“Okay,” I said, not wanting to make a big issue out of it. Obviously he wasn’t reading the question right.

“How do you read the question?” Jeff asked, as if reading my mind.

I tried to explain it to him. “I think it’s asking how we can know it’s all true. And how we can know we really believe it.”

Jeff thought about it for just a moment. “I suppose you’ll know when you die.”

“Yeah,” I laughed. “That will answer both questions.”

This conversation didn’t help me much. I still wasn’t sure if I believed enough. There had to be some way to know for sure.

As I was doing the dinner dishes a song popped into my head… And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love. Yes, they’ll know that we are Christians by our love. For a moment I wondered if that might be the answer. Maybe the way to know if I really believe is to see if I act like a believer. Do I love my fellow man? Do I try to keep God’s commandments?

Sure. I try. But I don’t always succeed.

Quickly, I realized this was not the answer to my problem. Believing that our faith is only real when we back it up with good works is a road that too easily leads to work righteousness. And that’s a dead end if there ever was one.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8, 9 (NIV)

So I knew that wasn’t right. But what was the answer? How would I know I believed enough?

It wasn’t until church that night that the answer finally came to me. Or rather, it wasn’t until church that night that I realized my tough question, “Do I believe enough?” was all wrong.

The sermon was based on Romans 8:28-30 (NIV):

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

As Pastor explained, these verses remind us that our being saved is not based on our will, our works, or even how much we believe in him- thank goodness! Faith comes through the working of God the Holy Spirit. He puts faith in our hearts. He nurtures it. He strengthens it. And he protects it.

So, how do I know it's true when I can't prove it?

I just do. Through faith I do.

Faith is the substance of things hope for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 (KJV)

I know I believe because God has put that faith, that belief, in my heart. And it’s not a faith in me or my worthiness or understanding. It’s a faith in Jesus, my Savior, who once said:

“Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” John 20:29 (NIV)

That’s me.

Blessed.

Blessed with faith.

Blessed by the Holy Spirit to believe in spite of my sins, in spite of my weakness, in spite of my doubts.

Blessed because he loves me.

So then, just what did Dr. Tackett mean by the question, “Do you really believe that what you believe is really real?”

For the answer to that question, I went to our class facilitator, and asked him if the discussion questions came with an answer key. They did. I asked if I could see it. He let me.

What Dr. Tackett was trying to say is that if you really believe there’s a God who loves you and is all powerful, why do you worry? If you believe that God, the creator of all, loves you and wants the best for you, why don’t you pray to him earnestly and often? In short, he was saying what the song I thought of while doing dishes says, They will know that we are Christians by our love, which comes straight from what Jesus himself said in John 13:35 (NIV):

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

I agree with Dr. Tackett, that a person ought to live a life consistent with the truths he or she believes, but I wonder how many may have heard him ask that question and misinterpreted it as I did, asking themselves, "Do I believe it enough?"

I hope not many.

But for those who did, I hope they ended up concluding as I finally did, our faith is a gift. And that gift is all sufficient, as it says in 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV).

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.