Birthday Reflections

I learned in Bible class once that you could divide the life of Moses into 3 40-year parts. His first 40 years were spent in Egypt, the next 40 years he was a shepherd, and he spent his last 40 years with the Israelites wondering around in the desert.

It seems like my life can be divided up into thirds too. The first 20 years I was a kid. The next 20 was spent having and raising kids of my own. And now, as a 40-something grown-up, I'm enjoying life in a new way. I have the freedom to be and do pretty much anything my conscience, aging body, and pocketbook will allow.

The one who said, "Life begins at 40," wasn't kidding. This is a great time in my life. Not that the first 40 years weren't, but I'm finding a peace and contentment and, as Susan Ann likes to call it, an attitude of gratitude that has blessed and surprised me as I age. Growing old isn't such a bad thing. I think the older I get, the better I get. I don't say that to brag. I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for lots of hard lessons learned along the way. I still have a lot to learn, (Proverbs 10:19, Proverbs 11:2, Micah 6:8 and Colossians 3:23 to name a few) but here's what I've figured out about life so far.

1. God is everything. (That's why He calls himself, "I AM.")
2. Everything happens for a reason.
3. Begin every day and every task with mediation on God’s Word and prayer, and all will be well.
4. Less is more.
5. The secret of contentment: Focus on the positive... what you have instead of what you wish you had; where you are instead of where you wish you were; who you are instead of who you wish you were.
6. Rejoice always! God loves you.

I feel like there should be 7, but I can't think of another one to put there. Maybe I will over the next 20 years. Or maybe one of you can add number 7!

And now, a few pictures…one from each of the phases of my life thus far...

1967
 (I'm the one on Dad's lap.)

1995

2011

Simple Gifts

Sometimes I can get really down. I think, “No one likes me. I don’t have any real friends. I’m just too weird and talk too much and think way too highly of myself. No wonder no one wants to be my friend. I’m pathetic.”

I call it feeling lonely.

But then God talks to me. He shows me that what I’m feeling isn’t just loneliness. It’s pride. I want to be popular. I want to be well thought of. I want people to love me.

If that’s not pride, then I don’t know what is.

After He shows me my sin, God calls me to repentance. He tells me to get off my high horse and come down where I ought to be. He tells me I am forgiven. He tells me He loves me. He tells me its okay. He’s made it all okay. Jesus has paid for all my shortcomings. Even my vanity and my pride. 

Then He tells me…

Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.

Worship the LORD with gladness;

come before him with joyful songs.

Know that the LORD is God.

It is he who made us, and we are his;

we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Psalm 100: 1-3

This morning as I was praying about all these things I heard the following on my Christian Radio station. It’s pretty deep stuff, but I think I understood most of it. It’s by Oswald Chambers from this webpage: 

http://utmost.org/is-there-good-in-temptation/

No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man . . .
 1 Corinthians 10:13

The word temptation has come to mean something bad to us today, but we tend to use the word in the wrong way. Temptation itself is not sin; it is something we are bound to face simply by virtue of being human. Not to be tempted would mean that we were already so shameful that we would be beneath contempt. Yet many of us suffer from temptations we should never have to suffer, simply because we have refused to allow God to lift us to a higher level where we would face temptations of another kind.

A person’s inner nature, what he possesses in the inner, spiritual part of his being, determines what he is tempted by on the outside. The temptation fits the true nature of the person being tempted and reveals the possibilities of his nature. Every person actually determines or sets the level of his own temptation, because temptation will come to him in accordance with the level of his controlling, inner nature.

Temptation comes to me, suggesting a possible shortcut to the realization of my highest goal— it does not direct me toward what I understand to be evil, but toward what I understand to be good. Temptation is something that confuses me for a while, and I don’t know whether something is right or wrong. When I yield to it, I have made lust a god, and the temptation itself becomes the proof that it was only my own fear that prevented me from falling into the sin earlier.

Temptation is not something we can escape; in fact, it is essential to the well-rounded life of a person. Beware of thinking that you are tempted as no one else–what you go through is the common inheritance of the human race, not something that no one has ever before endured. God does not save us from temptations–He sustains us in the midst of them.

I think what Mr. Chambers is saying is that everyone faces temptation. My temptation is pride. I’m going to want to be loved. And I’m going to get confused sometimes and think that I’ll find that love in the people around me. But when I realize that “looking for love in all the wrong places” won’t work, I’ll eventually see that God loves me, and that’s all that matters. 

And this journey…

from temptation…

to repentance…

to peace…

it's a gift...

Blessings in Disguise

I just found out yoga classes are going to be offered again where I work. I’m very excited. I love the way the Julie, who teaches the class, does so with a Christian perspective. I also like how she slowly guides us from pose to pose, and lets everyone work at their own level.

I really enjoy the feeling of a good stretch.

That doesn’t mean I’m all that flexible. In fact, for years I wondered why I couldn’t more easily touch my toes, or do some of those other amazing poses the people in the yoga videos could do. You know the ones I mean…where they fold themselves perfectly in half, or straddle their legs as sharply as a carpenter’s square.

Even when I stretched twice a day I still couldn’t see the sort of progress I dreamed of. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t do it. It actually bugged me - a lot!

That was until a few years ago when I was watching an episode of Dr. Oz. It was during the Q and A time near the end of the show when a young woman got up and began to talk about her hyper-flexibility. Dr. Oz asked her to show us, so she began bending and twisting her body into all sorts of crazy shapes. I looked on with both wonder and envy.

But then something unexpected happened. Dr. Oz asked the lady if she ever gets aches and pains in her joints. “Yes, Often,” the lady admitted. Dr. Oz then explained that this is common with people with hyper-flexibility. These sorts of people have to be especially cautious to avoid injuries like sprains and pulled muscles.

Hummm...

I thought.

I never get injuries like that.



I guess it's because...



my joints are strong.


That’s when it first occurred to me...

  
Maybe God made me this way for a reason.

 

I imagined God, knitting me together, and deciding it would be better for me to have strong joints, than to be overly flexible. Even though he knew I’d want to be limber, he felt it was better for me to be able to run, and hike, and play with my kids, and climb stairs, and do all the things I enjoy doing without ever having to worry about a sprained ankle or a pulled back.
 

He made me this way because he loves me.

I wondered how many other things about me that I don’t really like, are actually blessings in disguise. Could my big teeth and fat thumbs be a blessing too? Who knows? They could be.

How about you? Are there any things about yourself you used to want to change, but later realized were blessings in disguise? The size of your nose? The size of your yard? The size of your bank account?

As I get older I see more and more what a loving Father we have. He knows best, and his ways are so much higher and better than our ways.

Like it says in Isaiah 55…

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
 neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

So the next time you’re thinking…

Why couldn’t I be more like this?

 or

Why couldn’t I be more like that?

…don’t be surprised if the answer is as simple as this:

Because God loves you.

Communion

Six weeks ago I decided to take a break from blogging to ponder Jesus’ passion.

This I have done.

One of the things I’ve pondered most during this time is the Lord’s Supper, also known as the Sacrament of Holy Communion.

The church I’ve belonged to my entire life teaches that when we take this sacrament we’re not just eating bread and drinking wine, but that in, with, and under the bread, we also receive the body of Christ. And that in, with, and under the wine, we also receive the very blood of our Lord Jesus, shed for us on the cross.

This is a teaching I have always questioned.

Is that really what Jesus meant?

Maybe he was just being poetic.

Like when he said I am the vine, you are the branches or I am the light of the world.

The topic came up about a month ago in Bible Class. I took a deep breathe, raised my hand and said, “I’m not saying I don’t think Jesus could turn the bread into his body and the wine into blood, if that’s what he meant. I just don’t understand why it’s so important we agree on that.”

Thankfully, I was not kicked out of class for saying this out loud. I was even told it was a “good question.” For the answer, I was asked to read 1 Corinthians 11:28. “For anyone who eats and drinks without recognizing the body of the Lord eats and drinks judgment on himself.”

That seemed pretty clear…until I read the footnote of my Concordia Self-study Bible which said, “The word ‘body’ may refer to either the Lord’s physical body or the church as the body of Christ.”

I still wasn’t sure what to believe. But I wanted to know. I had to know.

So I began searching the Scriptures for passages related to this topic. I read every account of the Last Supper recorded in the Gospels, as well as several chapters in the Epistles. I read a few commentaries as well, and even checked out the Book of Concord, on which all of our church’s doctrinal beliefs are founded. After that I exchanged several emails with an old friend of mine who happens to be a Pastor. These were extremely helpful as well.

The more I read and pondered these things the more I wondered why I was having such a hard time believing what Christ himself said.

While they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it,

and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take and eat; this is my body.”

Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, saying,

“Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant,

which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.

Matthew 26: 26-28

A week ago I took communion. Before I walked up to the table of the Lord, I examined myself as I’d been taught to do. I asked myself these 4 questions:

1. Do you recognize your sin and your need for a Savior?
2. Do you believe that Jesus paid for all your sins by his suffering and death?
3. Will you strive to live a holy life, and amend your sinful ways?
4. Do you believe the bread and wine are the true body and blood of Jesus Christ?

Yes, yes, yes, and YES!

With joy I walked up to the altar, took the bread and placed it in my mouth. I washed it down with the wine, and thought about the miracle that just took place. I smiled. Jesus loves me. He knows me, and he still loves me.

It was the most significant participation in the sacrament I have ever experienced. To realize how much I mean to Jesus. To remember and believe all he’s done for me, and all he still does for me. It is truly amazing. Amazing grace. Amazing love. Amazing Savior!

Later I thought about the paralyzed man that was lowered through a roof to be healed by Jesus. The first thing Jesus said to him was, ““Son, your sins are forgiven.” Mark 2:5

The teachers of the law criticized Jesus for saying this. They didn’t think he had the power to forgive sins. To prove them wrong, Jesus then healed the man of his physical disability. “What is easier?” he had asked them. Which miracle is more incredible? Curing a physical need, or giving life for all eternity?

And now I ask you, what is the greater miracle, changing bread and wine to body and blood, or forgiving sins and granting eternal life?

I think this week God showed me that he does the first, to help me more fully appreciate the second.

I wrote a little poem about Communion. It’s not very good, but I decided to post it anyway. Maybe it’ll get you thinking, and appreciating this amazing gift God gives us through the sacrament a little more as you prepare your hearts and minds for Maunday Thursday worship.

Communion

The heavy wooden church door

swings shut as we go in

displacing sounds without

with calming sounds within

a handshake, and a welcome,

a bulletin, a nod…

and soon we take our places

within the House of God

perhaps we do not notice

the table right away

distractions pull us left and right

and cause our thoughts to stray

but soon the polished silver

attracts our wandering eye

Looks like there’s Communion

we whisper with a sigh

we sing the hymns as posted

we hear the scripture read

we listen to the message

the Nicene Creed is said

and once the offering’s taken

our thanks have been conveyed

it’s then the Pastor tells us

of the night Christ was betrayed

we’ve heard the words so many times

we know them all by heart

and then we stand and get in line

and mindlessly take part

but do we really take to heart

the beauty of it all?

do we take and eat this meal

with wonder and with awe?

do we trust in Jesus’ word

THIS IS MY BODY GIVEN

and know that through this sacrament

our sins are now forgiven?

this miracle, this gift of God,

no greater love is known

and as we drink the blood of Christ

this gift becomes our own

a great and wondrous mystery

how bread and wine can be

at the same time body and blood

Christ shed upon the tree

but O, a greater mystery still

that in His death I find

all my sins are washed away

His victory is mine

please help me take this sacrament

with joy and peace, believing

that through the bread and wine we are

Your body and blood receiving

and knowing this rejoice to find

the Greater Gift to be

that with your lifeblood as the price

You died, and set me free

Tough Questions

Several years ago I had a dream. I guess you could call it a nightmare.

You know how in some dreams, you know you’re dreaming, but in others, the dream seems real? Well, this was one of those real ones. In the dream, which I can only remember parts of now, I was going about life as usual, when some sudden calamity hit. I can’t recall if it was a bomb or a car crash, or just what, but I do remember an explosion and lots of flames. And I remember thinking quite logically, “There’s no way we can survive this. We’re going to die.”

Now keep in mind, I thought the dream was real. Even so, I wasn’t afraid. I knew that as a Christian, the next thing that comes after death is heaven. Soon all the weight of my sins would be lifted, and I would see God face to face. And so I waited for that to happen.

But it didn’t happen.

Nothing happened.

I woke up…horrified.

It wasn’t death that horrified me. It was that terrible realization that all I had been taught, all I had known, all I had confessed to believe… wasn’t true… or was it?

“It was just a dream,” I told myself over and over again. “It was just a dream.”

That was years ago, but I still remember the feeling (if not the dream) vividly, and what it showed me. There’s no way of knowing for sure what happens when you die. It remains one of life’s mysteries.

Not knowing what’s going to happen is sometimes fun, but in this case, it scared me. And I don’t like being scared. So, instead, I told myself to follow Jesus’ advice to Jairus in Luke 8:50. “Don’t be afraid; just believe.”

Fast forward to last Thursday. Jeff and I went to a new Bible Class offered at our church called “The Truth Project.” It’s actually a series of videos which cover such deep philosophical topics as “What is truth?” “Who is God?” “What is evil?” and so on. The host is Dr. Del Tackett. The topic of our first class was truth, and Dr. Tackett ended the class with this tough question:

Do you really believe that what you believe is really real?

I immediately thought about my nightmare, and how badly it upset me.

Do I really believe that what I believe is really real?

I think so, but sometimes, I have doubts.

I left the class wondering…

Do I believe enough?

A few days later I was looking over the handouts from our Bible Class. One sheet had a bunch of discussion questions on it. Numbers 1 -5 looked like things we had talked about in class, but number 6 was that same question popping up again, followed by another equally tough question:

6) Dr. Tackett asked the question, “Do you really believe that what you believe is really real?” How can we know we really believe?

I showed the handout to Jeff. “Read number 6,” I said to him.

Jeff read it. “Yes,” he said.

“What do you mean, ‘Yes?’” I asked him.

“Yes, I believe what I believe is really real,” he answered.

“What about the second part?” I asked him.

Jeff looked back down at the sheet, then back at me. “I say I believe, and I do, so it’s true.”

“Okay,” I said, not wanting to make a big issue out of it. Obviously he wasn’t reading the question right.

“How do you read the question?” Jeff asked, as if reading my mind.

I tried to explain it to him. “I think it’s asking how we can know it’s all true. And how we can know we really believe it.”

Jeff thought about it for just a moment. “I suppose you’ll know when you die.”

“Yeah,” I laughed. “That will answer both questions.”

This conversation didn’t help me much. I still wasn’t sure if I believed enough. There had to be some way to know for sure.

As I was doing the dinner dishes a song popped into my head… And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love. Yes, they’ll know that we are Christians by our love. For a moment I wondered if that might be the answer. Maybe the way to know if I really believe is to see if I act like a believer. Do I love my fellow man? Do I try to keep God’s commandments?

Sure. I try. But I don’t always succeed.

Quickly, I realized this was not the answer to my problem. Believing that our faith is only real when we back it up with good works is a road that too easily leads to work righteousness. And that’s a dead end if there ever was one.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8, 9 (NIV)

So I knew that wasn’t right. But what was the answer? How would I know I believed enough?

It wasn’t until church that night that the answer finally came to me. Or rather, it wasn’t until church that night that I realized my tough question, “Do I believe enough?” was all wrong.

The sermon was based on Romans 8:28-30 (NIV):

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

As Pastor explained, these verses remind us that our being saved is not based on our will, our works, or even how much we believe in him- thank goodness! Faith comes through the working of God the Holy Spirit. He puts faith in our hearts. He nurtures it. He strengthens it. And he protects it.

So, how do I know it's true when I can't prove it?

I just do. Through faith I do.

Faith is the substance of things hope for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 (KJV)

I know I believe because God has put that faith, that belief, in my heart. And it’s not a faith in me or my worthiness or understanding. It’s a faith in Jesus, my Savior, who once said:

“Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” John 20:29 (NIV)

That’s me.

Blessed.

Blessed with faith.

Blessed by the Holy Spirit to believe in spite of my sins, in spite of my weakness, in spite of my doubts.

Blessed because he loves me.

So then, just what did Dr. Tackett mean by the question, “Do you really believe that what you believe is really real?”

For the answer to that question, I went to our class facilitator, and asked him if the discussion questions came with an answer key. They did. I asked if I could see it. He let me.

What Dr. Tackett was trying to say is that if you really believe there’s a God who loves you and is all powerful, why do you worry? If you believe that God, the creator of all, loves you and wants the best for you, why don’t you pray to him earnestly and often? In short, he was saying what the song I thought of while doing dishes says, They will know that we are Christians by our love, which comes straight from what Jesus himself said in John 13:35 (NIV):

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

I agree with Dr. Tackett, that a person ought to live a life consistent with the truths he or she believes, but I wonder how many may have heard him ask that question and misinterpreted it as I did, asking themselves, "Do I believe it enough?"

I hope not many.

But for those who did, I hope they ended up concluding as I finally did, our faith is a gift. And that gift is all sufficient, as it says in 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV).

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.