Oh, That We Were There

    On Sunday I was blessed to be able to lead my Women's Choir in song for the annual Christmas Song Service at our church. We met at 7:25 AM sharp to run through our songs one last time, but another group was practicing from the balcony, so we had to wait. While we waited I nervously shared with them a short devotion I had prepared earlier that morning. It went more or less like this...

Years ago I heard a sermon where the Pastor shared something his mom once told him. She said that the one place and time in the Bible she would have liked to have witnessed herself was that first Christmas night, on the hillside, with the shepherds. She wanted to see and hear the angels as they filled the skies, proclaiming the God News of the Savior’s birth.

Since then I've thought about what Biblical event I would most like to have been an eye-witness to. There are many, but the one that I come back to time and time again is that night in the upper room. After Jesus had washed the disciple’s feet, and after he had broken the bread and gave them the wine, and after he had prayed for them, Matthew tells us, “they sang a hymn.”

Can you imagine… singing a hymn with Jesus! It takes my breath away just to think about it.

What did he sound like? Was his voice deep and full, or soft and tender? Oh, that we were there! 

For years I wondered what song they sang together that last time. I supposed there was no way of knowing. But amazingly, about year ago, I found out!

The celebration of the Passover for the Jewish people is steeped in tradition and ceremony. It includes the singing of several Psalms. Psalm 113 and 114 were sung before the meal. And Psalms 115 to 118 were sung after the meal. The last song that Jesus sang with his disciples that night was most likely Psalm 118. The first verse of 118 is a familiar one:

¹ Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
    his love endures forever.

This is how Psalm 118 ends:

²² The stone the builders rejected
    has become the cornerstone; (He's singing about himself here.) 
²³ the Lord has done this,
    and it is marvelous in our eyes.
²⁴ The Lord has done it this very day;
    let us rejoice today and be glad.

²⁵ Lord, save us!
    Lord, grant us success!

²⁶ Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.
    From the house of the Lord we bless you.
²⁷ The Lord is God,
    and he has made his light shine on us.
With boughs in hand, join in the festal procession
    up to the horns of the altar.

²⁸ You are my God, and I will praise you;
    you are my God, and I will exalt you.

²⁹ Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
    his love endures forever.

Did you notice, the Psalm begins and ends with the same words, “His love endures forever?” What a comfort that is! We may not see Jesus with our eyes, but he is certainly here with us, in our hearts. 

So sing to him, and sing with him! Sing with joy, knowing that he will bless us, and be with us, and that his love for us endures forever.

Just As I Am

I have a question for you.

Why do you go to church?

To worship God?

To sing His praises?

To strengthen your faith through the Word and Sacrament?

Those are all good answers.

And if you would have asked me that same question a few weeks ago, I probably would have responded with one or all of those answers myself.

But God, in his wisdom, showed me this past month, I may not be the good-little-church-goer I thought I was.

Here’s what happened.

For the past several years I have volunteered my services, in church services, running the projector. As old and traditional as our congregation is, we have one of those large screens that are popping up all over churches these days. We use ours to display the liturgy, readings, hymns and other helpful info during the services. The entire service is programmed into the computer beforehand by church workers, but volunteers are needed during the services to advance the screens at the proper times. It’s not terribly difficult to do, and I like doing it.

In most churches, the projectionist is seated up in the balcony or in the last pew. But at our church, we have what we call "the projection room." It's got a sound panel, several camera monitors, a dvd player, as well as the computer with the pre-programmed service ready to go. It's a pretty cool little room. It’s also a pretty solitary room. When I'm back there, all alone, with the door closed, as I usually am for services, I can sit however I like, sing however I like, talk to myself, laugh, blow my nose, fart (excuse me) and no one can see or hear me do it. I like that too.

But a few weeks ago the projector began experiencing technical difficulties. Actually, I believe it was the computer that was having problems, but whatever the cause, our lovely screen was non-functioning. Consequently, my services as projectionist were no longer needed. I had to sit in the sanctuary with everyone else.

As I took my seat in the pew beside my husband, I began to think about things. Things I hadn't thought about in many months. Things like, "I wonder if my hair looks good," and "There's Mr. So-and-So, and his daughter, but where's Mrs. So-and-So?" When I belted out the wrong words to a hymn, I wondered if anyone noticed, and sang a little softer. During the sermon I wondered if I was fidgeting too much, or if the Pastor saw me when I yawned and took it personally. When I went up to take communion I even wondered how my butt looked in my new dress pants. No kidding! Then I wondered how I could partake in the Lord's Supper with such sinful thoughts circling around in my head. I tried to push them aside, but they kept popping up, each one worse than the one before.

By the time the service ended I realized this had to stop. It’s just wrong to be thinking such things when I’m supposed to be focused on worship.

But the following weekend the projector was still on the fritz, and I was back in the pew. As much as I tried not to let it, it happened again. All those stupid, trivial, self-centered, and inappropriate thoughts came popping back up into my head. Erg.

That’s when I really began to ask myself, “Self, why do you go to church? Is it for worship, to praise the Lord, to hear his Word and be strengthened by His Body and Blood? Or is it to out-shine, out-sing, and check-out everyone else???” The evidence was hard to deny. My motivations were clearly off track.

“Oh, Lord. What a sinner I am. It would be better to put me back in a room all by myself, where no one could see me, and where I could focus on the service and ON YOU without distraction.”

God must have agreed, because the projector’s working again. I’m back in that small room, all alone, and am I ever glad.

As I think about it, I can’t help but wonder if God’s been keeping me back there because He knows what I’m like. He knows how easily I can get distracted, and so He gave me this little volunteer job to keep me from my sin. It’s not only possible. I believe that was His plan all along.

Not only that, I suspect He put me in a pew those few Sundays to help me realize all this. To show me how easily I lose my way, and make me realize how desperately I need Him to wipe away these and all of those other sins I don’t even know I’m doing. What an amazing Lord we have.

I took communion again last week, and as I walked up to the front of church I didn’t care as much how I looked. I only cared that God was letting me come…just as I am. He knows my thoughts are often not where they should be, but He still invites me to come to Him. And as I took the wafer and the wine I knew Jesus was saying, “This is my body, given for you…” and “This is my blood, shed for you.” And I went back to that little room, and worshipped Him.

Just As I Am

Lyrics by Charlotte Elliott

1. Just as I am, without one plea,

but that thy blood was shed for me,

and that thou bidst me come to thee,

O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

2. Just as I am, and waiting not

to rid my soul of one dark blot,

to thee whose blood can cleanse each spot,

O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

3. Just as I am, though tossed about

with many a conflict, many a doubt,

fightings and fears within, without,

O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

4. Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind;

sight, riches, healing of the mind,

yea, all I need in thee to find,

O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

5. Just as I am, thou wilt receive,

wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve;

because thy promise I believe,

O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

6. Just as I am, thy love unknown

hath broken every barrier down;

now, to be thine, yea thine alone,

O Lamb of God, I come, I come.